Dating people online guides: With 40 million Americans now using online dating services, the chances of finding love online are higher than ever. However, to make the most of this, you need to know how to play the game, which is where our online dating tips can help.
Three-quarters of the profile should be about me, and the other quarter about what I want in a mate, says Hoffman, who tells me to be specific here, too: The goal isn’t to attract everyone, it’s to find The One. We come up with “My ideal match is someone who loves family, has an opinion on current events, and can hold his own at a cocktail party on a Friday night, then chill with me on a lazy Saturday.” The final touch is a headline that sums up my approach to life, like a personal slogan. Hoffman suggests “Family. Kindness. Friends. Faith. That’s what I value most.” Hmm. I’m spiritual and go to church, but “faith” sounds heavy. I swap it for “fun.”
On the Internet, it’s easy to feel nitpicky and maintain high expectations. With apps like Tinder, you snap-judge users as if you were scrolling Amazon for the best pair of speakers. This sense of being in the driver’s seat, of choosing, can be appealing. It makes you feel powerful. Fight it. If what you want is a real connection — a relationship with a person you hope to love and who will love you — you will have to bring your most mature and empathetic self to the project. That means not saying, “Eh, she’s cute — but I prefer brunettes to blondes. Next!” You’d never behave this way in person, so don’t do it online.
Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists. They’re looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5’10” and 6′, from west London, and so on. These lists are off-putting for two reasons. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak. Second, they sound like an exact description of the writer’s ex. Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” See additional details on online dating on this website.
“If you want to be successful at online dating, you can’t wait for the right dates to come to you. Be proactive with [Liking and Noping] often, sending the initial message, and taking charge of your dating destiny. [People] who do are more satisfied with their dating-app experience and feel that they meet more appropriate and satisfying dates.” — Damona Hoffman, certified dating coach and host of “Dates & Mates”.