How childhood memories changes adult relationships? As humans living and breathing on this planet, we have a sacred right to be loved, but that love can only come to us when we cultivate an environment of kindness, generosity and respect around ourselves. By surrounding ourselves with those conditions, we can build those qualities in ourselves, but it takes shutting out the things that suck those things out of our lives. Part of realizing that you are worthy of love and respect is also realizing that you are allowed to slam doors on the people that do not attract these things in your life. When the conditions you need to thrive aren’t meant, leave behind those people who leave you stuck to the past. While your parents might have made your journey to enlightenment harder, the only person keeping you from soaring is yourself. You have to make the decision whether to stay stuck or move forward.
Philia is love without romantic attraction and occurs between friends or family members. It occurs when both people share the same values and respect each other — it’s commonly referred to as “brotherly love.” Your mind articulates which friends are on the same wavelength as you and who you can trust. Pragma is a unique bonded love that matures over many years. It’s an everlasting love between a couple that chooses to put equal effort into their relationship. Commitment and dedication are required to reach “Pragma.” Instead of “falling in love,” you are “standing in love” with the partner you want by your side indefinitely. The subconscious drives partners towards each other. This feeling comes unknowingly and feels purposeful.
While your child may still be very young, it’s good to begin teaching small lessons that will help build their independence by the time they are ready to leave home for college. You can help do this by asking your child to do some simple activities that they can do on their own to help with the morning or nightly routine. Ask your child to brush his teeth, or get dressed in the morning, or change into pajamas at night. Remember to give clear and simple directions to help her understand exactly what she needs to do. If he forgets or doesn’t understand what is being asked of him, provide him with positive reinforcement, and explain your instructions again, as patiently as you can. Give them time to do what you ask, and provide them with positive feedback after they complete the task.
According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. Find more info at click here for childhood memories affecting relationship.
Children who experience traumatic incidents may develop dysfunctional attachment styles. Developing healthy attachments requires feelings of security and safety. Avoidant attachment occurs when a child does not receive the benefit of a secure attachment, and become self- sufficient, and independent. Once they have reached adulthood, they continue to self-rely and do not attach themselves to others easily. Ambivalent attachment occurs when you experience a mix of neglect and attention. This can be confusing to a child’s development. Once they reach adulthood they tend to experience anxiety in relationships and require a lot of soothing and attention. These are just two of multiple dysfunctional attachment styles that may arise from childhood trauma. So how do we cope with trauma so we may learn from our past experiences?