Adult relationships recommendations and childhood influence? Get mindful about everything! When we are raised by a narcissist, we are systematically trained to ignore our feelings. Feelings are a threat to the self-obsessed parent, who needs as little conflict from their subjects as possible, in order to create the self-centric world they seek. Our feelings can often be a direct contradiction to the beliefs of a narcissist, and that is something that is absolutely intolerable to them. Getting mindful about who you are, what you’re feeling and what you need can empower you to transform your life and the memories you’re building for your future. Adverse childhood experiences steal a lot from us, and they do so by stealing our positive emotions and hopes, while invalidating them through manipulation and subterfuge.
Philia is love without romantic attraction and occurs between friends or family members. It occurs when both people share the same values and respect each other — it’s commonly referred to as “brotherly love.” Your mind articulates which friends are on the same wavelength as you and who you can trust. Pragma is a unique bonded love that matures over many years. It’s an everlasting love between a couple that chooses to put equal effort into their relationship. Commitment and dedication are required to reach “Pragma.” Instead of “falling in love,” you are “standing in love” with the partner you want by your side indefinitely. The subconscious drives partners towards each other. This feeling comes unknowingly and feels purposeful.
While your child may still be very young, it’s good to begin teaching small lessons that will help build their independence by the time they are ready to leave home for college. You can help do this by asking your child to do some simple activities that they can do on their own to help with the morning or nightly routine. Ask your child to brush his teeth, or get dressed in the morning, or change into pajamas at night. Remember to give clear and simple directions to help her understand exactly what she needs to do. If he forgets or doesn’t understand what is being asked of him, provide him with positive reinforcement, and explain your instructions again, as patiently as you can. Give them time to do what you ask, and provide them with positive feedback after they complete the task.
According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. See additional information at where abandonment issues come from.
By exploring the traumatic incident, an individual can learn a lot about how they process their emotions, how they manage additional traumatic situations, and how they maintain current relationships. Addressing the situation may be painful but by exploring the trauma, an individual will have more positive interactions with others, strengthen their resilience, and become more confident in themselves. Healing from trauma can be a difficult experience for an individual. Self-care plays an important role in mental health. Taking time for yourself to reflect on your emotions can greatly benefit your mental well-being. Examples of self-care could be a day at the spa, a night in watching movies, participating in yoga, or taking time for meditation. Find what activity provides you the most comfort, downtime, and self-reflection. Everyone’s self-care looks different but the result can be extremely beneficial to the healing process.